After about 10 minutes of talking, we began to discuss relationships from the start of love to what are the keys to a successful relationship. He said that most people just get married and they don't have a list to really know what they want and what to look for. I proudly stated that I have a list and he complimented me and said I was a smart young lady. Then he said well let's see how smart you really are. He proceeded to ask me "How much of yourself should you give in a relationship?" I admit I wasn't sure. "Is this a trick question" I asked myself. Then confidently I said, "100%". He then goes that's impossible. It is unrealistic to give 100% to someone and expect that someone will give 100% of themselves to you." He went on to say that "you should try to give 60% and expect to get 40%". In other words do more for a person but expect less. When you set high expectations for someone they will fail you because we are only human and may not meet your expectations every single time. Its not an excuse for us to not always try to give our best in a relationship but when our expectations are too high, we set someone up for failure. He went on to say that love really begins after marriage because when the going gets tough, two people are challenged to put in the work to love each other despite the circumstances.
He went on to say these are the three things that are found in any successful relationship:
1. Respect - He said that a relationship is built on respect for each other. If someone doesn't respect you or you don't respect the other person, it will be hard for that relationship to last.
2. Communication - You should be able to talk to each other. We all have different ways to communicate - some people talk out loud until they reach a resolution and some people think and then when they speak they have formulated their answer about how they feel. The point is you have to find a way to communicate to each other.
3. Trust - You have to trust the person in your relationship. Trust that they won't intentionally hurt you. Trust they won't cheat on you. Trust that they are giving you the best of who they are.
Then after asking my age, he said my daughter is about your age so I am talking to you as if you were my daughter. Make sure that he is a God fearing man that believes that Jesus Christ is the Savior. Don't chase looks for they fade but marry someone that will provide for you. Listen to how he talks and refers to his parents because that will tell you a lot about him. If he has issues with his mother that is a red flag. Look at his heart and study how he acts when put in various situations.
Finally the taxi stopped and I was sad to have reached my hotel so fast. I wanted to hear more but I was grateful for his wisdom. He told me that his son was getting married that weekend and he was asked to sing. He said he was nervous but wanted to share a few lines of the song. As I signed the credit card receipt and listened to his sweet voice sing words about love, I smiled and said to myself "Wow, what a cab ride!" I cherish these unexpected moments!
